man facebook really wanted "metaverse" but realized neal stephenson thinks they're all bastards so they had to make it store-brand huh

Did I just bounce my phone on the couch to fake-register a final 8 steps to meet my goal before midnight without getting up?

Yes.

Do I feel bad about it?

No, absolutely not.

Need to figure out how to tell someone that I maybe *like* like them in a weird ace-y semi-romantic non-sexual sort of way without Making It Weirdโ€ฆ

Anybody have a paw theyโ€™d be willing to let me sleep on? Thx

Yโ€™know, Iโ€™d have probably watched Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts sooner if anyone had bothered to mention there are flippinโ€™ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด in itโ€ฆ

Today I reached โ€œleft my collar on when I went to the UPS Storeโ€ levels of apparently not giving a fuck during the pandemic.

micro, paws 

I'd love to commission art of my wife idly smooshing me between her paws while she works at her desk, but we both sit in our chairs like gremlins with our legs tucked up underneath us, so it wouldn't be very accurate, lol

Oh no, I've created an optical illusion. The tower on the left looks more leaned than the one on the right.

I was, perhaps, a little bit bored last night and decided to see how I sized up to the landmark clock tower in the park downtown (which is 155 ft tall).

I kinda want to commission an aerial piece with me leaning against it now...

So how long before the Ever Given shows up as a selectable object in Macrovision?

I have resolved to be a good pup this year and wear my collar as much as I can.

micro, explicit/weird 

I want one of those portal things that makes your dick into a living dildo. Then I wanna shrink down to micro size and climb into my wife's pussy while she uses it. (The portal would obviously retain its original size.)

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Gulp Cafe

Welcome to Cafe Gulp! We are an adult oriented website themed around vore and endosomaphila. This can take many forms but are often very sexualized and adult in nature. While we may be literal people eaters, we welcome all who can respect boundaries and each other. We will absolutely ban you for hate speech, trolling, or other disruptive mischief. ๐Ÿ”ž If you are under 18 or not interested in such content, leave now. Note to new applicants: Please allow up to 48 hours for account approvals. I don't always remember to check the queue/mail! You may message Taris through another platforms if no action has been taken on your account application after 24 hours. Thank you for your patience with this poor overworked sysadmin <3