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Introductory Post! 

Hey everyone, I'm Tristan Hawthorne, I'm an adult with Autism, and I write vore smut for money.

To motivate myself to write more original work that isn't commissions or gift stuff for friends, I opened a Patreon! I delay Patreon work for a month till public posting

Recently I got a part time job working for a non-profit that helps neurodivergent adults get life skills for living in the neurotypical world.

My upload sites are in my profile if you wanna check out my work!

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Introductory Post! ART EDITION 

I've got good art of my big soft pupper. I love that people love my sona as much as I do :purple_sparkling_heart:

The two fullbodies are by Rabidraccoon@Twitter.com and the sticker sheets are by Kuppy on FA

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If you have a hard time imagining how big a bear is

Imagine a really big thing

It's about like that

Hey. It's okay to like cute fluffy anthro animals and not call yourself a furry

Don't tease people and call them furries if they don't want to be called that. It's an opt-in term

gonna open a cuddle bar. called holding company

boost kobolds, they may not be able to reach the counter

The Monty Hall River problem:

You choose a boat. Monty Hall reveals a boat that contains a goat. You have to cross the river with the goat, the wolf, and the cabbage. Do you change boats?

"What's that? Sorry, can't hear you under there. You make a comfy couch cushion, by the way...."

Qaz likes to relax on your couch, but only when you're there under him.

Art by LeafrunnerK on FA

here's what the mainstream media won't tell you: having sex is really funny and it's normal to giggle and fool around during it

I've noticed that I start singing my own version of "Come Together" when I reassemble Joycons:

🎶 He got Walrus Gumboots
He got Walrus Gumshoe
He got Walrus down below his Walrus
Got to be a Walrus 'cause it's so hard to Walrus
Come together! Right now! Over Walrus 🎶

it's dragon appreciation day, aka, every day of my life

I am once again reminding you that the Polynesian community has asked that you use the term “polyam” in lieu of “poly” when talking about polyamory.

the timeline for my wrists being better coincides super annoyingly with my family moving to another city.

That is if my wrists are even better in two weeks.

Really, it was only a matter of time until I made an Elstiq. Strangely, I started out with green. Not entirely sure how I ended up with CMYK. And not to worry, there's a version saved without the silly background.

Anyway, elstiqs belong to
FelisRandomis and
CanisElastis

Relatable sea shanty topics:
- the boss sucks and needs to pay me
- I could use a drink
- I miss my SO/family
- this work is hard
- remembering other times work was hard
- hunting whales is rough

Hot take: Orcs and Kobolds can be and frequently are friends of Humans, Elves, Dorfs and the like

D&D is just racist

kobold more like nobold (poofs out of existence)

does getting set on fire reduce the effects of getting set on fire? i don't fuckin know man

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Gulp Cafe

Welcome to Cafe Gulp! We are an adult oriented website themed around vore and endosomaphila. This can take many forms but are often very sexualized and adult in nature. While we may be literal people eaters, we welcome all who can respect boundaries and each other. We will absolutely ban you for hate speech, trolling, or other disruptive mischief. 🔞 If you are under 18 or not interested in such content, leave now.