Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

I have a pair of chinese rave glasses that can display scrolling text, bitmaps, or animations. They also make you look way too cool for school.

They speak Bluetooth to a shady APK, I've put it on a disconnected phone and I'm reverse engineering the protocol. queer.af/media/kPpwoBGP0l_uV41

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted


RT @tonyposnanski@twitter.com

I guess this also needs to be said...

There is 0% truth in a red delicious apple being delicious.

It is literally a ball of mush wax.

Thank you.

๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ”—: twitter.com/tonyposnanski/stat

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

*looks suspiciously over at snouts*

What are you doing over there? :blob_cat_sip_glare:

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

i accidentally screenshared my full desktop during a meeting and i had to explain this to my boss

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

today's a very ~sleepily mumbling into thick chest floof~ kinda day

โ€” โœจ


You hang you head, defeated, lamenting your time wasted on debating pineapple while this monster lurked in the shadows.

The truth hits you like a late delivery driver.
You can't.

Sure you could scrape most of the lettuce off, buy you won't get it all, there's just too much, and now you have to store it somewhere? The whole point was not making more dishes to clean! So you're going to be eating roasted wilted lettuce.
Maybe at least the taco cheese will met, you think, but there's too little, nothing is going to out do that mass of soggy greenery.

But it's not what you expect.

Sure it looks impressive when it arro es, but you quickly realize there is absolutely no way to keep the shredded lettuce and cheese from immediately falling off and getting left behind in the box. Even when in desperation you try to tease it back on with a fork or knife, it's obvious it was never meant to be.
Sure what few scraps make it to your mouth are OK, but you don't eat the whole pizza and dread sets in.
How are you going to reheat a Taco Salad Pizza? ๐Ÿ˜จ

It started innocently enough...

Hey, who dropped their spicy salad on top of my cheese pizza? It's like a pizza and a taco had a drunken night of bad decisions!

And it was like that, and that's how this abomination is often obtained, small discretions adding up.
You like tacos, you like pizza, why not combine them, right?

While you all were squabbling over pineapple on pizza, I was off fighting the true enemy...

Taco pizza ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿ•

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

Nip Em All 1989
I am trash yeen
410,757,864,530 Dad Jokes

Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted
Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

hey y'all! just a quick reminder that if ya really dig snouts, we have a patreon! every a dollar a month helps (I'm thirty of those dollars, myself! still paying the equivalent of the original monthly hosting fees from August 2018). if you're hard up for cash we totally understand, but please consider donating!


Taris :taur: :wolftaur: :gulp: boosted

tests are showing horny levels at 69%

(69%) โ– โ– โ– โ– โ– โ– โ–กโ–กโ–กโ–ก

Cursed, eye contact 

Show more
Gulp Cafe

Welcome to Cafe Gulp! We are an adult oriented website themed around vore and endosomaphila. This can take many forms but are often very sexualized and adult in nature. While we may be literal people eaters, we welcome all who can respect boundaries and each other. We will absolutely ban you for hate speech, trolling, or other disruptive mischief. ๐Ÿ”ž If you are under 18 or not interested in such content, leave now.