Taris :wolftaur: boosted

Rimworld, art description, suggestive 

what the FUCK
ex-FUCKING-cuse me???????

who wants to sit on the Rat Jockstrap chair?
Taris :wolftaur: boosted

My pets were always the best friends I ever had.

Warmth, acceptance, patience, tolerance and diligent ears were always fluffy, scaly or feathery.

Other humans my age couldn't seem to understand me.

I remember my distress over the daycare hamster being menaced by the biggest kid, and the rest thought it was hilarious.

School was even worse.

When I sprouted fur, fangs and claws I cried with joy, running straight to the deepest woods.

#TootFic #MicroFiction #Writing #TerylsTales #UrbanFantasy

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

I wanted to make a vaccine joke, 

But some people will just refuse to get it.

Same but in a context 🀣

RT @WhereWomenBloom@twitter.com

This pandemic has forced me to realize that 90% of my social life was just meeting up with friends to eat 😭

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/WhereWomenBloom/st

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

Good evening everyone I must announce that I am pupy

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

vore shitpost 

Aerodynamically speaking, a lavafox isn’t supposed to be able to fly. Which is why I had to eat all the aerodynamicists in order to shut them up.

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

Since our child was very little we have always had them pick out gifts for us on the appropriate holidays. We started this around the time they were 3 or 4 because it’s hilarious to see what someone that age selects for an adult.

So to understand the birthday gift my 8 year old got me, you have to know that they call me β€œAudr” (pronounced ODD-er). It was what they chose when they were 5 and we were like β€œummm Daddy isn’t gonna work anymore.”

You should also know that this year they bought @caprimoon a stuffed Narwhal.

So this is my gift, a stuffed otterβ€”a β€œBashful Otter,” according to the tag. My child suggested the name β€œPoker” because that’s what I do all dayβ€”play poker. πŸ˜†

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

food 

i think it's neat that foxes look like fried cheese sticks all the time, that's real cool of them

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

weird she-ra thing i'm thinking about 

she-ra: has heard of sex, doesn't believe in it
glimmer: knows what sex is, has it sometimes
bow: knows what sex is, doesn't care for it
catra: "bend over"
sea hawk: really wants to have sex again, but is excruciatingly bisexual
double trouble: knows what sex is, REALLY wants it, but can't stop committing to the bit long enough to have it
hordak: never heard of it
scorpia: oh hell yeah
entrapta: fully aware of what sex is but never shows it. has it a lot

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

The laws of men and gods no longer bind me *i begin drinking chocolate milk straight from the 1 gallon jug*

Re: horrific sudden thought 

@Mycroft jeez I was trying to sleep but now I'm never sleeping again 😱 guess that'll teach me to read CWs πŸ˜‚

I don't remeber thinking this thought but I agree with it πŸ‘

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Taris :wolftaur: boosted

Have you stretched recently? Do it now. It will help.

Taris :wolftaur: boosted

When did chips ahoy start marketing to the croud? Is this new or am I out of the loop? πŸͺ :nom:

Ok but this is a really problem tho 🐺

RT @glacier_clear@twitter.com

tfw youre trying to wash your face but youre a dog

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/glacier_clear/stat

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Gulp Cafe

Welcome to Cafe Gulp! We are an adult oriented website themed around vore and endosomaphila. This can take many forms but are often very sexualized and adult in nature. While we may be literal people eaters, we welcome all who can respect boundaries and each other. We will absolutely ban you for hate speech, trolling, or other disruptive mischief. πŸ”ž If you are under 18 or not interested in such content, leave now.