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new vore story 

I got a new vore story uploaded. Tried a bit of a different writing style, and I'd love some feedback.

(warning: the following story link contains unwilling vore and scat/disposal)

foxgut.neocities.org/bouncer.h

new vore story 

@Foxgut Yeah, I liked it. Interesting premise. :3 Is there any specific kind of feedback you're looking for?

new vore story 

@Griff Did it feel rushed or anything? I felt like I was going through a lot of action in a short period of time.

new vore story 

@Foxgut Overall, I think the pacing was pretty good. Ultimately, it depends on what you're going for, but I tend to think that shorter and tighter works better if you just want to make a fetish porn. It's a lot easier to pick up a story if it doesn't ask you to make a huge time investment.

new vore story 

@Foxgut If you wanted to add more to it, I think what I would most like to see is more buildup in the bar scene. Like, actually seeing what the cougar was doing to the bartender, give him a little more characterization so the readers feel something about him and get that "Yeah, he deserves that" feeling.

new vore story 

@Foxgut Personally, I tend to prefer characterization and relationships over just raw physical description. Like, I've read enough descriptions of someone being swallowed that I don't need multiple paragraphs to make it work for me. I'm more interested in seeing how tensions build between characters and how they resolve. |3

new vore story 

@Griff I see! Well thank you very much for the feedback.

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